I have demons in me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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