Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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