used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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