I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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