Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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