I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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