Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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