i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
