I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
