just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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