He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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