new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
