if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
