Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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