I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
nutella sex= disaster
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
