you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
