OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
