I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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