am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize