I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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