I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
