I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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