this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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