You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
