no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
