You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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