she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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