he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
