He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
