Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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