people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
