oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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