I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
