I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
