Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
