His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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