You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
