Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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