So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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