I think im going to throw up on grandma
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
