He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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