I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
