Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
