yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
