I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
