NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
