There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
