I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
