To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
