Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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