have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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