Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
