You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
You kept saying you had to be safe.