'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?