I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize