so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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