It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.