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• (810): View more from Michigan

  The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

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• (415): View more from California

  mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

  Fav 25 2322 835

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

  Fav 31 9711 1618

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

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• (631): View more from New York

  we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober

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• (585): View more from New York

  If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead

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