Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town

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  (215): you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town http://tfl.nu/6oiy
  Replies (13) Good night (4024) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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  (614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy? http://tfl.nu/swws
  Replies (17) Good night (5294) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would be honored to be that friend.

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  (978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl
  Replies (22) Good night (5916) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14623) Bad night (2415)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?

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  (901): Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow? http://tfl.nu/gguq
  Replies (8) Good night (848) Bad night (2677)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2975) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.

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  (253): So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel. http://tfl.nu/ldso
  Replies (5) Good night (982) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

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  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (1880) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.

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  (310): Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/eqfs
  Replies (7) Good night (466) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.

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  (207): I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud. http://tfl.nu/5qge
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms

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  (917): Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms http://tfl.nu/vk6t
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.

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  (701): It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in. http://tfl.nu/loaa
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.

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  (570): We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't. http://tfl.nu/vt2d
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit

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  (904): Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit http://tfl.nu/oosx
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (286)

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