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• (360): View more from Washington

  I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I love foreign exchange students.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life

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  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.

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