these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Did you pee in the oven last night??