just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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