I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
