Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
