I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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