I have demons in me.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
