I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
